Be Nice or Be Polite
Over the last few days, I’ve had to change my approach and interactions with people. I’ve typically considered myself nice. I’ve also repeatedly said to myself, “Be nice to everybody” or “I’m nice to everybody” or something along those lines. With a couple of interactions this week I’ve realized one main thing, don’t be nice to everyone - they don’t deserve it.
In my opinion and experience, being nice is different from being polite. Being nice not just returns a greeting, but also ask one or two follow up questions. Being nice means I’ll take a second or two and engage in a conversation. Being nice means taking an interest in how that person is doing at that particular moment. Being nice requires a bit more from me than I’m willing to give. Being nice means going out of my way at most times to render aide to those that need it. Being polite is quite different.
Being polite is being friendly, but curt. Being polite means is you speak or greet, I respond. Being polite means offering some assistance, but in the form of answering questions not guiding you in that particular direction or accompanying you on a task. Being polite leads to shorter interactions. These interactions are short, sweet, and to the point.
Last week our building hired another concierge. I’d be nice and not only return her greeting, but also ask about her, how her day was going, and if she was getting comfortable in her new position. That’s being nice as compared to simply returning her greeting and continuing on with my day. A new tourist arrived and chose to extend his visa. He asked how to accomplish this task. I provided the information and went above and beyond by accompanying him to immigration. This typical errand of less than two hours with a 45 minute commute in each direction morphed into over three hours before I ended the trip by walking back to my condo.
In each instance, I see the error of my ways. I could have saved myself a bunch of time by being polite and not being nice. Nothing requires me to go above and beyond, yet I frequently do. I’m at a point now that I’m cognizant of the amount of time I have remaining in each day and I refuse to squander any of it. So moving forward, I’ll be polite to everyone, but not nice. I’ll not invest my time into random strangers or friends and colleagues that offer little to no return on my investment. It may seem callous, but life can and has been callous. I must behave accordingly.
Today, Friday, October 18, 2024, I am grateful that:
My domain is registered and so are a couple of social media accounts. It’s a tedious process and I have little patience, but it appears I possess more than I believed in the past.
My site’s first iteration is nearly done. I’ve got to tweak some wording and get the videos to play, but it’s up and running.
My skool.com community is up also. It’s been a rather productive week. I’ll begin posting to the community also. There won’t be much sleep for me over the next couple of days. My sleep deprivation will help others and for that I’m grateful.
Are you too nice?
Do you invest too much time being nice?
Would being polite serve you better in certain instances?
How can you
This is the first part of the entry.