Be The Runt

Today I started writing a list titled, “Being Authentic” and stopped a few paragraphs in. This thought popped into mind, more than once in the last 24 hours, and I knew I needed to get it out of my head and on paper.

I’ve been living in the Philippines for over five years now. A group of friends is called a barkada. Most Americans would call it your circle of friends, cronies, your crew, or a number of other terms. I’d propose that you are who you hang out with. I’d noticed that I’m the runt of the litter. I’m the runt in my circle, barkada, or my crew. Of all my friends, I’m the lowest, smallest, undersized, or smaller than average within my circle.

Every friend I hang out with is doing better professionally. Every friend I hang out with typically does better romantically, meaning they’ve been married for years, maybe decades. Every friend I hang out with is doing better financially, meaning they save or invest better than I. Each friend performs better in certain areas of their lives. They display a standard to strive for.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” is often said and it, I believe, is true in most cases. There’s another approach I’ve found useful, yet challenging to explain. The word originates from a meaning to make equal with and there’s the thing. “Comparison is the thief of joy or the ideal of which to strive.” I came up with that on the fly and may change it a bit later, but it’ll do for now. Basically, it’s a matter of perspective.

I can be unhappy about being the runt. I can think and say I’m not good enough. I can say I don’t have all the things my friends have and therefore I’m unworthy and sad. Or, I can say these people are doing and living exactly how I’d like to. These friends have salaries I’d like. These friends have relationships I’d like. These friends drive cars I’d like to drive. They have clothes, watches, and jewelry I’d like to wear. These friends have serenity, clarity, focus, and determination I’d like to possess. “How can I get from where I am to where you are?” would be the questions to ask of your friends.

The difference is perspective. You can allow others doing better than you in certain areas to make you feel less than, or depressed, or you can use them as a standard bearer, a protagonist if you will. The decision is yours to make. I’ve decided for the remainder of my life I’ll be the runt. I’ll always surround myself with friends doing better than I am currently. I’ll do this so I can ask them how can i get from where I am to where you are? That’s the reason since there’s always room for improvement. Always!!!

Today, Thursday, August 29, 2024, I am grateful that:

I possess a different perspective. We all filter messages based on our experiences, emotions, and education. All three have provided some insights others may not have and that’s truly a blessing.

Jovy is working today. I’m still not fully recovered from the accident. I despise not being able to fend for myself, but I’m happy I can afford to pay for someone to do some things I’m unable to do at the moment.

Grady and Stan sent some help today. It’s been a challenge recovering, financially and physically. Mentally I’m guessing I’m

This is the first part of the entry.