Despair

Despair is defined as the loss of hope. One definition of hope is “that feeling that things will turn out for the best.” Hope is what keeps most of us going. Hope keeps me going, moving forward, in spite of certain circumstances. Yet, over the past several days, despair has crept its ugly head onto the scene.

Despair has become part of my very being, my existence. Loss of hope, loss of that feeling things will turn out for the best. I’ve been living in that spot for the last several days. It seems bleak, gloomy, and down right “not worth it.”

The interesting thing is hope is noun and a verb. Another definition is to believe, desire, or trust. Now the definition doesn’t say what or who to believe, desire, or trust in. Where that feeling should be directed. For the last couple of years, I’ve placed that within my Creator.

I’ve moved forward with hope for a better life. A life worth living, something worthy of storytelling. Something journalists, authors, TV personalities and the like would find interesting and worth sharing. It’s been challenging.

Along the way I’ve encountered obstacles and challenges most would surrender to and here I stand. I will not yield, nor will I submit. Instead, I’ve gathered what resolve, conviction, and trust I have in my Creator that there is still hope. So I guess I should change the title to hope versus despair, but I needed to shine a light on the negative. Expose it and destroy, like a photo film processed decades ago.

Today, Monday, April 8, 2019, I am grateful that:

Despair is being replaced with hope. It’s starting to be removed, but not completely absent. It’s challenging and sometimes my mind obsesses with the negative.

I don’t stay in morbid reflection for extended periods of time. My history includes bouts of depression. Weeks, months, even years of negative, down trodden thoughts and action coupled with all the effects of such. That’s not the case today.

Despair and depression don’t last. Feelings aren’t facts but perception is reality. If I think it’s real it is real. So the hurdle to leap over is one of unfocused thoughts. In order to focus my thoughts I must possess an objective. I believed that to be true in the past and I think it was but it hasn’t been enough. My thought is now I need a plan for fulfillment of my objective.

Do you have an objective, a purpose? Is it clear, precise? Do it have a time frame for completion? Something you will gain once achieved? Something you will surrender for its achievement? An amount you will receive once it’s accomplished? A clear-cut plan to accomplish said purpose? Willingness to adopt another plan if the first doesn’t work or can be executed effectively?

I answered yes to the above questions, except the last one. Now I’m filled with despair for several days. Experience is the best teacher, but it doesn’t have to be your experience. Profit from my experience. Learn from experience and accelerate your time frame. It’ll save you a bunch of time and probably despair as well.

Enjoy your day. Be Impactful!