Feelings Aren’t Facts

The way I feel about today may change. It was that way when I contemplated suicide a couple of times and it’s been the way for virtually every occassion I can recall. The facts don’t change but my feelings will. They are fleeting, contingent on any number of circumstances and instances, mostly environment based but other variables influence them as well. My point, I feel unsettled, distrurbed, and overall discontented with my progress thus far living in Cebu.

My feelings vary and at some point the way I feel today will change when I recall or re-read this writing. But in an effort for transparency and truthfulness, I’m just not feeling as if I’ve done much. I’m certain I’ve made progress and I’m further today than I was when I arrived, yet my feelings are what they are.

The thing I must keep in mind: Always do your best. I don’t believe I have at this juncture. That may be the source of the disturbance. “To thine own self be true” comes to mind. The truth is - I could have done more. Most days I can say I’ve done my best but today and speaking with specific regard to writing and creating, I’m uncertain. It’s unchartered territory and I’m not certain if I’ve done my best or not. All I can honestly say is I’ve done something. Best or not will be determined upon assessment at some point in the future, I guess.

Today, Friday, November 8, 2019, I am grateful that:

My feelings about today will change. It’s slightly uncomfortable but I know these feelings will subside and be replaced by others.

I get to grab my massage and shave today. At some point I may not be able to afford those luxuries, either lack of time or financial resources, but today is not that day. So I’ll indulge in some relaxation and put forth an effort to take care of myself, recharge the battery, and continue down the path.

Even though it’s later than I typically write this list, I’ve written it nonetheless. Some days - it’s just work.

Don’t Allow Your Feelings To Dominate You.

Be Impactful!