If It’s Important

It’s been about twenty years since I first experienced depression. It took about two or three more years before I actually went to the doctor and received a diagnosis. With an identifier or label, I was able to find a solution to my problem. Prior to the diagnosis, I’d floundered around with a few things, but nothing really lasted or proved effective. Once I knew what it was, I could function more effectively and I did.

Aside from the medication and changing how I ate, I began writing these lists. I’d write them on my vanity mirror in the upstairs bathroom most mornings. But that was really about the second or third thing I did. The first thing I did was to wake up early. Initially, I’d get up and do a bit of reading and praying and meditating. That routine evolved to include walking and running. When that happened, I began waking up around 4 or 4:30 every morning. I’d read, leave the house, and have a little walk. As I felt more comfortable walking around in the wee hours of the morning and had established a route for my morning walk, I began jogging. I wasn’t then, nor am I now a prolific runner. This part of my routine started and ended in less than an hour, probably around 30 minutes, but since it was more than 15 and closer to 20 years ago, I’m a bit uncertain.

I continued this routine for months. It became part of who I am and what I did at the time. When I spoke with friends or family about my morning routine, they seemed baffled that I, known as not a morning person, would be up and moving around so early. “If it’s important, I’ll lose sleep for it” was my reply. This holds true today. I’ve abandoned walking and running, with my mornings being absent of reading times. My lists have morphed from the bathroom mirror to a google document, but waking up early hasn’t changed.

When I think about my upcoming day and set my alarm, I think about what’s important. That was then and that’s changed too. Now I get up early because I know I’m supposed to. I get up early because I have purpose. I get up early cause I’ve spent too many years not doing what I was created to do. I get up early cause my coffee tastes better when I’m still a bit groggy. There’s something cathartic about waking up, starting my coffee, and putting my fingers on the keyboard. There’s a therapeutic benefit some highly educated person in neuroscience or psychology could better explain. That’s their job and mine is this - convey the benefits.

If you don’t have enough time to get things done - wake up early. If you think about all the things you want to do and don’t do - wake up early. If you, for whatever reason, are having difficulties starting or finishing a project - wake up early. My experience is excuses, self pity, self doubt, depression, anxiety, and stress wash away before 5 in the morning. My experience has been that when I wake up and give up something I really enjoy, which is sleeping, I will do what I woke up for. My experience is waking up early is worth it, but if and only if, it’s important. If it’s important to me, I’ll give up sleep.

Today, Friday, August 9, 2024, I am grateful that:

I’m willing to do the work. It’ll require losing sleep

This is the first part of the entry.