Really Wanting It

There will come a point in your journey, as it has been in mine, when you have to decide if you really want it. If you really want to do the work, to lose sleep, to reprioritize your schedule, to sever friendships, to work in the evenings, to work on the weekends, to miss out on social events, and so many other things. You’ll have to decide if you really want the thing you’re striving towards. No one can decide for you. It’s one of the most intimate questions you’ll ever ask.

My history includes me answering that question negatively more than once. I didn’t want it as much as I thought. I wasn’t willing to put in the work. I wasn’t willing to sever relationships. I wasn’t willing to miss social outings. I wasn’t willing to work nights and weekends. If this version of me could talk to the previous version of myself, I would say, “You have to pay the toll. Either now or later, but the toll has to be paid.”

I would have put my “big boy” pants on or done what I say my Pop’s do. I would have manned up. I watched my Dad do those things for decades. He rarely, if ever, complained about having to work. He worked tirelessly, practically everyday. I’m sure the money he made wasn’t comparable to what I’m doing or what I’ve done, yet for greater compensation, I’m unwilling to put in greater effort. I lack the substance my father possessed in abundance. As I’ve matured, I’m learning the lessons he taught through his deeds, not his words. I’m happy to have the lessons today. “Youth is wasted on the young” comes to mind since my younger self couldn’t comprehend what I saw him do all those years ago.

Today, Tuesday, December 20, 2022, I am grateful that:

I got a chance to attend a Christmas event sponsored by Shirley and Nick. It’s for children in the neighborhood and they do it every year. It was great to actually attend the event and see so many familiar faces.

I’m feeling a bit better. I’ve still got a ton of congestion. I’m a miserable patient. I don’t like being under the weather. I’ll be happy when I’m back to normal.

I’ve got too much work to finish. I’m not entirely sure when I’ll finish all my writing projects, but I’ll work towards them. I’m tired of writing at the moment, but it’s paying the bills and that’s more important than how I feel.

Are you willing to put in the work?

Are you willing to reprioritize what’s important?

How bad do you want it?

Do you really really want it?

Be Great. Be Grateful!!!