Rejection

A couple of months ago, I had lunch with friends at a restaurant in Cebu. Great food, great atmosphere, and even better great looking waitresses. One of them was incredibly attractive, with a great personality and exceptional English.

We swapped out phone numbers a bit later and the communication was always one sided. Last night I simply asked if she would go out with me and she said no. I’m stuck in the “friend zone.” For her, I’m cool with the friend zone. I’m very aware of the grieving process she’s going through at the moment(her boyfriend died a couple of months ago unexpectedly and she’s still mourning and missing him).

What’s confusing is her acceptance a friendship but reluctance to associate outside of work. When I extended an invitation to hang out even with chaperones, she declined. I’m not thinking I’m missing anything culturally, yet there’s a disconnect. When we’ve spoken before there was a slight connection, physically some signals were there and not figments of my imagination. But those signals have faded as things progressed.

I’d like more insight but I don’t think I’ll ever receive said insight. So the old saying goes, “the best way to get over one woman is get on top of another.” I did that last night too. Great personality, good chemistry, things went well.

The stretch for me here will be if I’m able to simply move from one woman to another seamlessly. I have a history of finding one and focusing all my attention on her until we are dating or things devolve. Just like America, there are plenty of beautiful women and I have to become moving from one to another and increasing my chances of success by asking and receiving many more rejections. It’s just like sales “it’s a numbers game.”

I have to go through the numbers and I haven’t. I have to get to a spot where I’m comfortable dating numerous women so I find the one I’d like to marry. That’s truthfully the part I despise. I’d like to just find her, marry her, and live happily ever after. But for now, I’m faced with the fact “she rejected me.” I hate that feeling.

Today, Saturday, April 13, 2019, I am grateful that:

I had the courage to ask her out. I don’t like the results of my actions but I’m not in the results business. My responsibility is to take the action and I did by asking.

I didn’t and don’t have to become resentful towards her for rejecting my advances. She explained her feelings and where she is and I feel she was upfront and honest. A candid conversation was comforting and again, I don’t like rejection but I’m ok with it based on our conversation.

I can remember simple things like my brother’s birthday. I’ll be able to give him a call tonight and wish him a happy birthday. Doesn’t matter if I’m 8-10K miles away a phone call is still an option.

I have an opportunity to discuss earning a living as a writer/editor. Through one of my contacts tomorrow I’ll have a conversation regarding my writing services. Not exactly sure where the opportunity will lead or what it involves but it’s an opportunity. Earning an income as a writer, something that requires very little effort for me, in the sense of bringing forth the correct words, is something I’m excite

This is the first part of the entry.